"A Soft Answer turns away wrath."

You have probably heard the statement, 'You can catch more bees with honey' right?

Interestingly enough, this statement (although it talks about bees) does not just apply to the way we respond to one another (I'll get to this a bit later) but also our pets, specifically dogs, or maybe just our Chloe.

Now, I know that in the dog training videos I've watched, and all the reading I've done, we are to be clear with our canines about what is 'good' and what is 'bad', and I don't disagree that concept, as a lot of training is associated with listening and word training so to speak. 

We still have to remind Chloe about behaviour that she should know is bad by now every once in a while. And often, as a child would, she'll test us anyways, knowing better! It actually baffles me at times at how she still seems to think that she's smarter than us from time to time, and actually believes that we will not see through her cunning antics!

I've recently noticed though, that something very interesting happens when we tell her that she's a 'good' girl. Her little ears perk up immediately, and she stands at attention. Now, this could very well be associated with her expectation of a treat of some kind to follow (her entire world seems to revolve around food it seems - I can finally identify being in my 2nd trimester lol!), but it works in circumstances where food is not around as well. If we want her to comply with our request and are having a difficult time getting her to obey, affirming that she's a good dog seems to have a profound effect, and she immediately quits the stubborn act and gives in.

Now, I said that I would come back to this earlier - if this would work on my little 7lb puppy dog, I imagine the impact that it would have on a human. We all know the effect that a kind word has on our disposition. How a nice compliment or encouragement can really make our day! How much more those who around us? How much more in a time when with everything in you, you want to come down on someone, and in some cases, rightly so?

However, it is far more effective and wiser to affirm good behaviour or be grateful for things you appreciate, or that were done right instead. This works in our marriages, with our children, in our friendships and workplaces, and the best part is, all of us are wired the same way, so it is sure-fire to succeed every time!

Easier said than done? When I think about it, I realize that God practices this with us every day - and more so to the degree that we allow Him to. None of us are perfect, and we all have our own shortcomings. Jesus has promised that despite it all, He would never leave us and promises us good things. We can be assured that by His presence within us, we have received His grace, His empowerment to resist lashing out in a heated or negative situation, and answer 'softly' with honey instead.

Now, let me get up close and personal with this. What does this look like in action? Well, for me, I have noticed a tendency to get really upset when things are not done in somewhat of a systematic order. Well, not just any systematic order, but the way that I have lined them up - this is more so true in my own domain, home that is. I like things done a certain way, I want my hubby to comply with it and adapt and since he's the closest one to me (as God forges us from two into one more and more each year) we certainly as any normal couple, have our 'issues.' (I would question anyone couple who says they don't I might add).

However, despite my tendency to get upset or critical over something, I've made a decision that with God's help, I will not get rude or disrespectful in the way that I respond to him. This is regardless of whether it's heated and I'd be justified in my own mind to do so, or there was no reason provoking me to do so at all. And do you know what I've found? My marriage, like little Ms. Chloe has been better than ever as a result! We are able to get along better, instead of losing our patience with one another as so many couples do once married. Am I lying? Do we not see all the negative implications towards marriage and the implications that your life will be 'hell' after (excuse my language) all over tv, movies etc? 

Well, I'm saying today that it does not have to be, and with some effort to continue to be loving and respectful, positive affirmation goes a long way -- even with a little mischievous puppy!

The Teacher becomes the Student

When people say that it's like raising a child, they weren't kidding! Chloe is just growing in her 'adult' teeth - just when I thought that she had finally outgrown her chewing stage, it has gotten even worse! 

Stronger teeth = more damage

It's at these times and a few others where she does not respond the way I'd like her to, that I find that I can get quite upset  and ('run away') distance myself from her. But the more I think about it, I realize that she doesn't understand what she's doing is wrong, and will not -unless - I train her to know so, and find a better way to communicate it to her so she understands. Furthermore, it's gotten me to thinking...how often have I 'run away' from ugly situations - in whatever form it may be - thinking, distancing, leaving etc?

I have found that in this entire process of me having to 'train' Chloe, I have indeed become the student! I have had to read, speak to others, and view countless videos to understand how to relate and figure out Chloe's needs in order for her to function at her fullest. I have had to change the way I behave, speak and even physically move to get my point across. Never before have I been so conscious of my actions. And sometimes, (which is one of the reasons I started this blog) these situations lead to learning a life lesson, or something (either positive or negative) about myself - like this time. 

^"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, FAITHFULNESS, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." - Galatians 5:22-23

So guess which one out of these has really struck me recently? Clue...it's in bold! Now, it may sound a bit cheesy to some, but I have found that the above truly mark strength of character in a person's life. They are also however, not something that is easy to come by. We require God's supernatural ability to live this way. However, I have found though that like all things, good and bad, our personal choices to live these attributes out play a huge role in all of this.

I've been pondering a lot on Faithfulness lately. Contrary to what most believe, this does not just end at being full of faith in God but rather, it's an action word. For Faith without action is not faith at all. What does that mean? Faith in the line of fire, when things are tough, just as much as when things are all roses. Sticking to your guns despite what it may look like around you, choosing to fulfill your responsibilities and commitments despite how you may be treated. It means, believing God to work all things for good even when we don't understand why things are happening the way that they do. It means when the going gets tough, the tough get going! Refusing to throw in the towel despite the pressure. It is at those times that we discover what a person is truly made of: we certainly did with Jesus as He was persecuted, beaten & executed. How fitting that God would show me this as we celebrate Jesus' death and resurrection in a few days! 

I suppose another word for Faithfulness would really be Perseverance. Truly digging your heels in. Setting your face as flint towards your goal as Jesus did.

From another perspective, I have also found that it is those who possess this trait (that seems very close knit with patience doesn't it?) are the ones who see God's faithfulness for what it truly is. They pass the test, they reap the rewards, and they are usually promoted in life! I think of the stories of Abraham, Joseph, David and many modern day ones, including a friend who recently shared his story with me.

So I challenge you, as I do myself, to hang in there knowing that God will indeed see you through, and we will all be better for it!