"A Soft Answer turns away wrath."

You have probably heard the statement, 'You can catch more bees with honey' right?

Interestingly enough, this statement (although it talks about bees) does not just apply to the way we respond to one another (I'll get to this a bit later) but also our pets, specifically dogs, or maybe just our Chloe.

Now, I know that in the dog training videos I've watched, and all the reading I've done, we are to be clear with our canines about what is 'good' and what is 'bad', and I don't disagree that concept, as a lot of training is associated with listening and word training so to speak. 

We still have to remind Chloe about behaviour that she should know is bad by now every once in a while. And often, as a child would, she'll test us anyways, knowing better! It actually baffles me at times at how she still seems to think that she's smarter than us from time to time, and actually believes that we will not see through her cunning antics!

I've recently noticed though, that something very interesting happens when we tell her that she's a 'good' girl. Her little ears perk up immediately, and she stands at attention. Now, this could very well be associated with her expectation of a treat of some kind to follow (her entire world seems to revolve around food it seems - I can finally identify being in my 2nd trimester lol!), but it works in circumstances where food is not around as well. If we want her to comply with our request and are having a difficult time getting her to obey, affirming that she's a good dog seems to have a profound effect, and she immediately quits the stubborn act and gives in.

Now, I said that I would come back to this earlier - if this would work on my little 7lb puppy dog, I imagine the impact that it would have on a human. We all know the effect that a kind word has on our disposition. How a nice compliment or encouragement can really make our day! How much more those who around us? How much more in a time when with everything in you, you want to come down on someone, and in some cases, rightly so?

However, it is far more effective and wiser to affirm good behaviour or be grateful for things you appreciate, or that were done right instead. This works in our marriages, with our children, in our friendships and workplaces, and the best part is, all of us are wired the same way, so it is sure-fire to succeed every time!

Easier said than done? When I think about it, I realize that God practices this with us every day - and more so to the degree that we allow Him to. None of us are perfect, and we all have our own shortcomings. Jesus has promised that despite it all, He would never leave us and promises us good things. We can be assured that by His presence within us, we have received His grace, His empowerment to resist lashing out in a heated or negative situation, and answer 'softly' with honey instead.

Now, let me get up close and personal with this. What does this look like in action? Well, for me, I have noticed a tendency to get really upset when things are not done in somewhat of a systematic order. Well, not just any systematic order, but the way that I have lined them up - this is more so true in my own domain, home that is. I like things done a certain way, I want my hubby to comply with it and adapt and since he's the closest one to me (as God forges us from two into one more and more each year) we certainly as any normal couple, have our 'issues.' (I would question anyone couple who says they don't I might add).

However, despite my tendency to get upset or critical over something, I've made a decision that with God's help, I will not get rude or disrespectful in the way that I respond to him. This is regardless of whether it's heated and I'd be justified in my own mind to do so, or there was no reason provoking me to do so at all. And do you know what I've found? My marriage, like little Ms. Chloe has been better than ever as a result! We are able to get along better, instead of losing our patience with one another as so many couples do once married. Am I lying? Do we not see all the negative implications towards marriage and the implications that your life will be 'hell' after (excuse my language) all over tv, movies etc? 

Well, I'm saying today that it does not have to be, and with some effort to continue to be loving and respectful, positive affirmation goes a long way -- even with a little mischievous puppy!

Your Every Sigh

Well, it's about that time again. It looks like this is turning out to be more a monthly blog, which is okay as I'm sure that most of you get bombarded with information and tonnes of optional reading on a daily basis!

Since my last blog, we have moved to the beautiful city of Burlington. It has been quite an adjustment and Miss Chloe-as I like to call her-was quite confused by all the various people and places she's seen, that's for sure. There were moments where she even seemed quite depressed and we've noticed that she seems to finally-for the most part-recognize who her owners are! A bit of a relief as she was quite content going home with anyone who gave her significant attention prior to! Haha!

Asides from ceramic floors throughout the home (which Chloe and I don't really like - let me add), we were having some issues with the plumbing at the kitchen sink a week ago. It got to be quite frustrating as I used every ounce of Grace given to me to remain calm and not totally flip out. "All I want is a clean plate to eat on, is that too much to ask for??!!" I thought, as I kept washing dishes and putting them to dry in the sink to my right where they'd  get dirty AGAIN! How you ask? Well....somehow the water kept rising in the side it was supposed to be drying in & I of course, kept removing the dishes and putting them back in the other side to wash again. So I tried the plunger - quite an ordeal for a pregnant woman (oh yes, I probably haven't mentioned that before in my blogs - I'm pregnant!! Yay!) and then tried again. Eventually, I realized that my right sink wasn't the only problem, the water seemed to be flooding in the left first and then into the right!! I was at my wits end. The amalgamation of boxes and plastic bags, and unpacking etc was already waking me up from my sleep as I desperately would keep unpacking and thinking of where to put things - Even in my dreams!! Aaaahh!! I had had enough! I let out a big sigh and decided that Chloe and I were going for a walk.

The fresh air was beautiful and I had a good opportunity to admire God's beautiful creation and calm down. Something that I have learned to do and appreciate from Chloe actually :) And then it happened. We met a nice Scottish gentleman with a Don Cherry type dog - I have no idea what it's called - but he was kinda cool looking. I'd had seen him & chatted very briefly before about our dogs once before. However, this night, he actually seemed to be in the mood to chat. It wasn't very long before I asked him what he did for a living. And guess what? Yes, out of all the people I could've met at 7:30pm that night, I had met a 'plumber'!!! Yay!!! I asked my questions about clogged sinks, Drano and plungers and he was able to provide me with directions to solve the problem in a minute or so!

As I walked back home, a sense of peace and joy came over me, as I was overwhelmed by God's love for me and my silly flooding sink. I thought "Wow, I know that was You. You heard my weary sigh and totally set that up for me. I didn't even take the time to talk to you about it, but You are faithful all the time!"

I remembered as I did the dishes that night how attentive I am to Chloe's every whimper and cry. I know her normal and abnormal behaviour and I'm aware of what she can handle and where she needs some assistance. I realized that if I as a human could do this with a little dog, (and my child too who's on its way), how much more Our Creator God, Our Heavenly Father who cares about our every need?

He's so much bigger than us, outside of time and space, Creator of the galaxies and heavens that continue to expand beyond our measure...and He stopped to listen to my sigh about my sink!

Can you feel His Love? He certainly wants you to.

Kibbles vs. that other stuff

I have been noticing a new trend infiltrating society: schools, churches, politics, corporations and families as of late, and it's been very interesting. At first, I thought it was just a leadership style, a change in how people manage or led others so to speak - you know, a shift from autocratic to democratic kind of. Have you heard about it? It's pretty neat actually, its premise is more of a relational type leading verses the more traditional "yes Boss" attitude.

This new style appreciates the gifts, talents and experience of every person; suggests that every one is a leader and would run more like a team, than a government. There's not much not to like about it, happy people are productive people. It's basic morale boosting 101. I for one find it refreshing, and see it as a real good thing - as it empowers every individual to give their best shot, to be valued and have significance.

However, when I started to notice how this attitude was infiltrating all of the different areas above, I started to really weigh the above pros with the cons - in light of the different scenarios that I had heard of recently.

I wondered what its worst would look like? How it would affect people in terms of the direction they'd be heading? And what pace they'd move ahead at, if they moved at all?

I mean in a perfect world, it would totally work! People would naturally just respect one another, understand the need for direction, realize that someone would have to take the lead and work together to accomplish their goal. However, what happens when things don't go that way? When no one is willing to step up to the plate and take charge, provide direction? What if the fear of being disliked or coming across as being authoritative dominated instead? What if everyone decided to do their own thing as long as it didn't seem to effect others? And nobody stood up for any morals for fear of being labelled as 'negative'? What if everyone just wanted to be on every one else's good side? And didn't speak their minds for fear of having a confrontation or disagreement? Now, I know that these may be a lot of 'what ifs', but don't we already see a lot of these things happening? 

• Parents who want to be 'friends' with their kids, that they forget their role as parents.
• Colleagues who look to each other for direction, but nobody really wants to take a stand and initiate anything new or for the better, or get mad at the person who does
• People that are so fed up with their experiences at church, that they all decide that the answer is to just not go, not believe, or eliminate the structure as a whole.
• Citizens who decide that their current government needs some serious change, and decide to vote for groups that just want to appease the crowds - not realizing the possible outcomes or instead, starting some kind of uprising instead.

I even heard from a friend that she's seen this similar attitude in elementary schools as people seem so clueless and unwilling to provide clear instructions.

Don't get me wrong, there's a time and place for everything, and I'm not saying that there were no cons to the old way of doing things either. It bred a lot other problems - pride, making others feel small, and even abuse in some cases, etc. 

Change (although many don't like it) is often a good thing. It gives us a fresh start, the opportunity to change the way we think, or have done life previously: a chance to grow.

In terms of the new trend/style/culture, whatever you want to call it, the prior may have had its set of down-falls when abused, but when used appropriately it led to good things like standing for morals, conserving the family, corporations, churches, the welfare of a country, established some ground-breaking dreams led by one man or woman (and there were many of them). While the new establishes a sense of self worth, recognizes that those dreams accomplished took more than the one man/woman - those that believed, and followed them. It states that we are on level ground (as we truly are).  But at it's worst, it can also create a disdain or ungrateful attitude for things that were, trying to build from scratch when a rich heritage is available as a foundation.

So why not have the best of both worlds? We have so much to learn from our past, it could give us a head start as new generation - where we can learn that equality is important, but that we don't need to be afraid of leading and helping others accomplish things. We can take responsibility for our actions and yet be productive people that honour others. So what am I really getting at? In other words...

"Be careful not to throw out the baby with the bath water," "Eat the meat and leave the bones" OR in Chloe's case, 'eat what's placed before you - but separate the kibbles from the pedigree' (she sorts them!). 

As with everything, Balance is possible, attainable and healthiest! :)